Post It Note Tuesday

Another Post It Note Tuesday! YAY!!! Just click on that button up there to join in and/or check out other Post It Note Tuesdays.

Here are today's notes:

Post It Note Tuesday

Just discovered this little carnival! And it took me all day, but I finally figured out how to get these little posty thingys up. If you want to read more or participate in Post It Note Tuesdays, just click on that button up there!

Without further ado, here are my notes for today:

The law of the land....

Laws were created for good reasons. They were created to maintain peace and structure in our society.

Most of us know that it is against the law to run a red light or to steal a car or to rob a bank or to kill that bastard who slept with your best friend right after he proposed to you.

But.....

Did you know that in Louisiana “Fake” wrestling matches are prohibited? Now if that's really the case, then why none of the WWE wrestlers have never been arrested? They come to the Cajundome at least once a year! And...."Spectators at a boxing match may not mock one of the contestants." Damn!!! So much for calling that little dude a pansy.

Here's what else I found out about the laws in my home state:

"It is illegal to rob a bank and then shoot at the bank teller with a water pistol." But my .45 is okay, right?

...and....

"Biting someone with your natural teeth is “simple assault,” while biting someone with your false teeth is “aggravated assault." So if you want to bite someone, be sure to do it BEFORE you get those dentures.

If ever you're in the fine state of Texas, you should remember that "it is illegal to take more than three sips of beer at a time while standing." I think this is a great law because if you're going to be drinking THAT much, you really should sit down. Also as is the law of the lone star state, "Up to a felony charge can be levied for promoting the use of, or owning more than six dildos." And in Dallas, "It’s illegal to possess realistic dildos." (Note to self: don't move to Texas.)

The Man has family living in Tennessee. We always talk about making a trip up there one summer. But here is what's been keeping us back for so long. In Tennessee, "You can’t shoot any game other than whales from a moving automobile." Ya'll, The Man really had his heart set on whale hunting. Also, "Giving and receiving oral sex is still prohibited by law." As the saying goes, sucks to be you!......or not. But what the real deal breaker is that it's "Illegal for a woman to drive a car unless there is a man either running or walking in front of it waving a red flag to warn approaching motorists and pedestrians." And my man don't run, I'm just sayin'!

And since we're touring our fine country, you should know that in sunny California "drinking intoxicating cement is prohibited." Because I hear that stuff can really clog your arteries. And if you happen to go to Hollywood, keep in mind that "it is illegal to drive more than two thousand sheep down Hollywood Boulevard at one time." Just in case you wanted to do that. You might want to leave that extra little black sheep at home.

If you ever pass through Oklahoma City, you should know that "no one may walk backwards downtown while eating a hamburger." Ice cream or nachos is okay, but not a hamburger.

That's just a few simple laws from our fine states. So if you're going to be travelling soon, please go to www.dumblaws.com first to learn the laws of the land. I would hate for you to end up in jail for shooting that humpback from the back of your pickup while driving through Memphis.

Stupid Names

I think that one of the major problems with today's world is that people just don't think enough. They don't think enough and they don't own enough mirrors.

Side note.....if you haven't already, check out www.peopleofwalmart.com. And brace yourself. One would think that while those people were already shopping at Wal-Mart, they would buy a mirror.

Back to the subject.....unthinking people.

For all you parents-to-be out there, THINK before you name your children. Please! If not for me, then at least for your child. Because they will have to live with that name for the rest of their lives.

Now I can understand different cultures and languages and family names...yadda, blah, etc.

But sometimes.......just sometimes.......people don't think.

For instance, if your last name is Head, Trickle, Ryder or Little............I wouldn't suggest naming your son Richard. I'm just sayin'. And just in case you're wondering and since Google is my BFF, Dick Head is a ReMax agent. I wonder if he's the head agent? hhmmm....

Anyhoo, moving on.

We all know that celebrities can throw some weird ones out there too. But since they're rich and famous, they can do all that.

I'm all about naming your child after a loved one, a hero, idol, etc. Heck, two of my kids are named after loved ones. But naming your child after objects or food? Come on, people! Think how little Apple will feel when her schoolmates start asking her if she has a sister named Orange. And can I just say that I was a little disappointed when Gwyneth Paltrow named her son Moses. Now I like the name Moses. I do. I was just hoping for something along the lines of Banana or Avocado. I was hoping for consistency.

The list goes on and on, my friends.

Constance Payne (who is a veterinarian by the way)
Seymour Balls (No, I've seen enough thank you.)
Dan Singh (ballroom or ballet?)
Formica Dinette (I kid you not. I wonder if she's the sister of Bedroom Sett)
Ben Dover (poor child!)

::sigh::

I think I'm going to call my mother and thank her for giving me a normal name.

Boo-humbug!

I hate Halloween!

There I've said it. It's out there. Now the entire world knows that I'm a Halloween hater.

Yes, I know I have only 17 followers. Haven't you heard that it's a small world?

I am to Halloween as Scrooge is to Christmas. I guess that makes me Scroogenstein. Or maybe Scroogacula. Boo-humbug!

Anyhoo, I don't like Halloween. I dread it every single year. Especially now that I have children. Yes, I know I'm going to Mommy Hell because I hate having to dress my kids up and drag them to strangers' homes to beg for food. Trust me when I say that I am anxiously counting down the days until my youngest child is too old for Halloween.

You know what I hate most about Halloween? I hate finding a costume. I'm tight with my money and I don't like spending money on anything that is not a necessity. Costumes are not a necessity. And have you seen the prices of costumes these days? They're outrageous! SHEESH!! Rip off, much?

If I'm going to spend $20 on clothes, it's going to be something that my child can wear repeatedly for a long time. I'm not going to spend $20 on red crepe paper sewn together with the word ELMO stamped on it. Ain't happenin'!

But my kids love Halloween. That's right. I may be a bad mommy for hating it by I don't pass on my hatred to my kids. I just procrastinate a whole lot when it comes to costumes.

I prefer to make my kids costumes. Or at least try to. One year, Diva was a bag of leaves, and Red was a dalmatian. The Boy was still a baby so I just stuck a orange pumpkin face onesie on him and he went dressed as a baby wearing an orange pumpkin-faced onesie. Very original I tell you. Found a cheap white sweatsuit and some black shoe polish for Red's dalmatian costume. For Diva, I found some autumn leaves for 75 cents. Stuck her in a black trash bag, stuffed the bag with newspapers, pinned the leaves to her black sweatshirt and there you go! Bag of leaves! It was a hit. That was the Halloween I actually enjoyed myself.

::sigh::

I just don't see the point of Halloween. Other than it's a great time of year for manufacturers and stores to make money.

I hate that my kids get so much candy and I can't even store it on top of the refrigerator anymore since these little weasels can climb a stool to reach it and then I end up having to argue with sugar-withdrawn children that are foaming at the mouth and look like they're ready to jump at my neck if I don't hand over the tootsie rolls and snickers right away.

I hate that I have to split up our time with HIS family and MY family when all I really want to do is stay home.

I hate it when my child wants to wear the same costume as every other kid in America and then I spend all evening calling out my child's name because there are 8 freakin' Tinkerbells with brown hair and I kick myself for being a horrible mother who can't pick her own freakin' kid out of a crowd!

I hate all the scary movies that are always playing the week of Halloween.

But I do enjoy seeing the smiles on my kids' faces. That's enough to keep me going every year.